You know how it is… the mindless scrolling, the unconscious desire to be distracted from your world and be transported into the lives of others, the need for a break “for just one moment” that turns into 30 minutes of wasted time.
It was getting easier and easier to fall into that Facebook trap. Life was feeling foggy and disorganized. My thoughts felt cluttered and confused. God felt distant.
I would get done the most important things like laundry and feeding the kids, but then felt so unmotivated to do anything else. I wanted to sit on the couch and dream about the someday instead of focusing on what could be done today.
The desire to live life well was gone.
Tuesday was the worst. I forced myself to do the most basic aspects of my day out of habit, but I felt listless and disinterested. Felt is the wrong word, because I was really more like a shell – not really feeling anything. Yet, there was also the overwhelming urge to just cry.
The rest of the week was a bit of a roller coaster. Wednesday I felt better, but then Thursday I found myself yelling at the kids and at God. Friday I made more of an effort to not let my emotions control my actions and asked God for help, and it went much better.
Then Saturday morning I woke up to an email saying my Facebook account had been disabled because I was too young to have a Facebook. At that point I just had to laugh.
Honestly, I’m glad Facebook disabled my account. I felt like I needed to be on there to help my business grow, but that was a lie that I was forced to let go.
I have a tendency to compare my life with others. Even though I make a concerted effort to not compare, and change my thoughts and pray when I do start to, it still makes it’s way to my sub-conscious. It’s like a disease that slowly spreads until it has overtaken the whole body.
In His mercy, God has pulled that disease out from it’s very roots. Now we can work on healing the damage.
It’s not the end for my mom coaching business. I can continue to write on that blog and share that content through various avenues. My website is up and running with information on my membership and 1:1 coaching.
Moving forward, I can better focus on the needs of my family and the exciting things that we have going on right now. It’s almost spring, so that means gardens! We’ll be starting seeds within the next few weeks!
Plus, this year we are getting chickens! We just ordered 25 meat chickens and 25 layers. I will be sharing more about what we are doing with them too!
Even in times of despair and desolation and emptiness, there is so much to be thankful for. I’ve come to realize that those seasons are part of life. It just takes a bit of patience and the promise of hope to get through it.
Please take a moment to share this with your friends. Attach it to an email or share on social media. Thank you for your support!
If you would like to receive encouragement as you navigate how God is calling you to live out your motherhood, I invite you to join us on the journey through weekly “Mama Steps” emails. I will also send you my free guide: 5 Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship with God.