When it rains a lot, this is what I imagine…
Afternoons spent cozy-ing up under blankets, reading books on the couch. Staring through the windows watching the rain fall. Puddle-jumping during the breaks in the clouds or under a fine mist. A hush, a calm. Peace.
Wait. Stop. Rewind. Here’s to reality:
Once school is over, I’m ready for some peace and quiet, but to myself. …mostly. The kids are quietest when they’re able to watch a TV show, or three, or one hundred. So I let them. During most of these days filled with rain, it was too wet and rainy to go out – even to enjoy the puddles. And to be honest, in the moment, I didn’t want to. Books under a blanket don’t happen – I’m touched out and the books don’t hold their attention like I wish they did. Well, it does depend on the child.
I’m mopey and unmotivated. The kids are mopey. The get-up-and-go just isn’t there. So I give in to the desire to exert as little energy as possible. The kids are allowed to watch TV show upon TV show while I work on meal planning, bills, blog, or take pictures. A couple of the kids can’t help but get outside, for this I am thankful. I’m thankful that they still have the desire to go out and that we are at a place where I can let them come and go as they please… even in the rain and the mist.
One day I tell myself that the TV won’t play such a large part in our lives, but that is not this day…
And that’s okay for a season. We’ve experienced seasons in our lives where we’ve been able to put a hold on technology, and others where we rely on it more. For now I’ll savor those moments where I do succeed in spending the kind of time that I desire in my heart to spend with my kids. I’ll savor the sunshine of life, and the rays of energy that come at different moments.
What it really comes down to is working on discipline and selflessness.
On pushing myself consistently to get past the hump of unmotivation, in order to get to those moments that I enjoy with my kids and my family. It’s being patient with the 30 minutes it takes to get ready for the 2 minutes spent outside in the winter. Smiling at the amount of mud my kids have managed to accumulate between their toes, instead of making that my excuse. When it rains a lot, it’s in knowing that it’s Not. About. Me. But in creating these childhood memories for my kids that will last them a lifetime. The simple moments, the pure moments, the snapshots of life.